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How to overcome lack of motivation to lose weight and exercise regularly?
I am 21 years old, 5'4" and currently 178 pounds. I have always been uncomfortable with my weight and has been a constant struggle for most of my life. Four years ago I had been more conscious and played volleyball regularly with my school and had dropped to 163 pounds. I was so happy with the changes I saw in my body. My hip bones were showing more and my stomach was getting smaller. My confidence was slowly growing (another thing I struggle with). After I started college my weight took a turn for the worst. I was eating out constantly, I was no longer playing sports or doing anything very active for that matter. I had high my highest weight of 201 within a year and a half. I dropped and stayed around 190-195 for quite some time until my personal life changed, and thus so did my eating habits. I was no longer in an environment of constantly eating fast food so my weight slowly dropped into the 180s. I had hit the high 160s at one point but as of late I have been having constant binges which has been a problem of mine. I would go all day not eating in front of certain people because I have a fear that I am constantly being judged. I think that no matter what or how much I eat, that the person/people I am with are thinking "Ew look at how fat and disgusting she is." or something along those lines. At this point I know what my goal is and want to lose weight to be around 120 pounds. That is not a definitive plan because I have never been at that weight so it may not be appropriate to my proportions but as I lose weight I will determine what a healthy weight is. But I have no motivation to do it. I have knee pains that I have not seen a doctor about. A part of me fears if I being to run again that it will worsen its condition. And another part thinks that maybe the pain is psychological because I am trying to find excuses. I don't have friends that are at the same weight as me which is why I don't have a gym buddy. I am easily self conscious if I go to the gym with someone skinnier because I feel I need to keep up with them or work out harder otherwise they will think I'm just lazy and fat. I apologize for the long post and I sincerely appreciate any words of advice you can provide or a website or book that could help guide me in the right direction. Thank you.

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I don't know how to eat normally anymore?
I think I need help...? For the past three years, I've had a problem with binge eating. It would be on and off sometimes, and I'd go up and down in weight, but I've never technically been overweight. I ate so much I got up to 118lbs (I'm 5'0"), then I lost ten pounds and then was up and down again, between 106 and 108. Now, I've had some sort of strange epiphany of sorts, and I've been restricting my calories since then, to ~800-1000 calories. I went from 107 to 105 in about five days without exercise.Today I've had under 700 calories and I don't want to eat anymore because I'm afraid I'll lose control and start binging again. I think this is what's been keeping me on my restriction plan, because I'm SO afraid about falling back into the cycle of binging. I thought stopping the binge eating would make me happier, but I'm still fat and ugly and I'm still miserable. I don't want to stop restricting because I want to lose weight and get skinny. But I'm sick of being controlled by food and being afraid of it and just unhappy because of it. I want to be skinny and be able to eat like a normal person. I don't want to think about food every minute of my life anymore. I tried to tell my sister about all of this once (I don't have any close friends, she's the person I'm closest to), when I was still binging, but she didn't really understand, and I don't think I can tell anyone else. My mom definitely wouldn't understand. I'll mention that I'm ugly and she'll say "you're not ugly" and then change the subject to something else, and it's like whenever I try to tell her anything she isn't listening. I'm alone and I don't know what to do...I just want some advice, I guess. thanks

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How can I control what and when I eat?
It's odd, I find myself eating whenever I'm upset, bored, hungry and even when I'm not hungry at all. After I finish eating I feel very guilty. I used to attend karate classes 2 to 3 times a week. Now, I sit around as I've recently suffered a major concussion. I'm curious as to what I can do to stop myself from always going to food. I know it's more mental than anything, but I'm out of ideas. Considering my concussion, I don't know what workouts are okay, and what aren't. I've consulted my doctor, and he's advised I should continue to do small workouts... however, that won't get me to lose weight. Pardon me, I don't want to lose weight, for I'm at a healthy weight now, I want to tone my body. Also, I have been noticing that in the mornings I am much skinnier than in the evenings. I suppose I should include some other details: I rarely drink water... or anything at all, I weigh 120 lbs, and I'm 16 years of age. I want to know how I can find other ways to make myself feel better, or fill my "empty" stomach with other things. How can I change my mind set? I appreciate the answers in advance :)

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